Paying Attention on Purpose
My favorite definition of mindfulness comes from Jon Kabat-Zinn, professor emeritus of medicine and creator of the Center for Mindfulness in Medicine, Health Care, and Society at the University of Massachusetts Medical School. Kabat-Zinn says that mindfulness is:
“Mindfulness is awareness that arises through paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment, non-judgmentally … And then I sometimes add, in the service of self-understanding and wisdom.”
Years after encountering this definition, somewhere along the way in my mind I also added “with curiosity and compassion for things as they are.” (I swear I heard Kabat-Zinn say it himself, but I cannot find those words attributed to him anywhere. Nevertheless, I think this remains in the spirit of his definition.)
The “on purpose” part is the piece of mindfulness practice that I struggle with the most. It’s very easy to zip through an entire day without noticing much of any detail. It takes intention to hit that internal pause button and really notice things – not just what’s going on around me, but how I’m responding to what’s going on internally. Not to judge, just as Kabat-Zinn says, but to just notice. And wonder why.
One of the reasons I call improv my spiritual practice is because it forces me to exercise those purposeful attention muscles. My coach recently took our team through an exercise in listening that really challenged us: In twos, we stood across from one another. One person would speak a single sentence, simple or complex. The other would then need to repeat it back verbatim while the remaining teammates would act as judges of accuracy. Now, all of us having a sense of wicked play, we each came up with increasingly complex compound sentences, trying to trip the other up. But despite our impish intention, we each did a fairly good job at repeating back, only occasionally slipping into paraphrasing.
I think the reason it went so well overall is twofold: we were paying attention on purpose (we’d been given a purpose for our attention in this case), and we were listening to absorb and not to respond. We were training our ears to really hear the other person and not just prepare for our clever, funny comeback.
The curiosity and compassion I find so important to mindfulness can only come about when we’re bringing that sort of intention to our listening – whether we’re listening to others or our own souls.
❖
Once again, March 22nd will be our big Covenant Sunday. The Covenant Team and I are looking forward to leading a time of reflection and sharing grounded in our worship together. I am hoping each one of you can be present in the Sanctuary or on Zoom to take part in this important piece of congregational work. What will result at the end of it all is our covenant – a statement of the promises we make to each other as we come into community.
Our grounding question for this work is, “What do I need to trust these people with my heart?” We want your voice to be a part of that answer. Please join us at 10:30am on Sunday, March 22nd for this very special service.
❖
Meetup with the Minister!
Join me for “Minister’s Tea-Time” on the first Thursday of each month, beginning at 2:00pm. Drop by for a chat and a warm beverage with me in the Gerber Room. No agenda, just a chance to get together outside of Sunday morning. See you at church on March 5th at 2!
And for those of you who can’t come to an afternoon event, join me for “Takeout Thursday” with the minister on Thursday, March 26th starting at 6:30pm. Bring your dinner and come hang out with me for meal time. No agenda, just a get together.
❖
On that same “getting to know you” note, this is your periodic reminder that I’m always available for pastoral conversations. My general rule is: If you ever think, “I should talk to my minister,” then that’s the time to get in touch. The important thing is to get in touch. I won’t always know if you’re in need of time with me, and those who do know you need me might not get the word along. I’m here to listen without judgement and help you reflect on things.
Email me (minister@uuberks.org) to set an appointment or use one of the white connection cards in the foyer. Or come see me after the service on Sunday morning. We can meet in person (at my office or I can come to you), by phone, or Zoom.