When Should I Call You?

Sometimes, our lives take a such a turn that we need to know there’s someone who’s there for us, no matter what. Sometimes, it’s hard to know when to reach out. Sometimes, you might not be sure who to reach out to. A minister comes into a church community, in part, to be just that person to reach out to. It’s certainly one of the reasons I entered the ministry. Now, there are many things that I’m not – a therapist, a lawyer, or a doctor, for example. But, what the minister is, what I am, is a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on, a hand to hold – someone who can be with you when most needed.

But, when is that time? That’s often a tricky question. The answer is: whenever you need me. It doesn’t seem much of an answer, I know, but it’s the short and sweet answer. Perhaps it’s never crossed your mind before to call the minister when you’re in need – but you should. It’s why I’m here. Perhaps you’re worried I may be too busy for you – but I’m never too busy to be your minister. It’s why I’m here. Perhaps you think that what’s on your mind isn’t important enough – but you’re important to me. Don’t ever hesitate to pick up the phone, or send me an e-mail, or leave me a message on the whiteboard on my office door. I’m the minister, and I’m here for you.

Still unsure when to call? Let me share with you a wonderful list, adapted (with some personalization) from an essay written by a UU minister, the Rev. Peter Lee Scott, over fifty years ago (times may change, but the role of the minister remains, largely, the same).

When to Call the Minister:

• When you haven’t met me yet, but would like to.
• When you have problems you’d like to discuss, concerning your children, your job, your marriage, or anything else where a sympathetic ear might be of help.
• When you’re going in the hospital or know someone else in the congregation who is.
• When someone close to you has died or is critically ill.
• When you or someone you love is in trouble or in jail.
• When you’re planning to be married, or wish you could be.
• When you have a child to be dedicated.
• When you’re pregnant but wish you weren’t.
• When you, or a friend or neighbor would like more information about the Unitarian Universalist faith.
• When you’re considering joining the congregation.
• When the Red Sox are losing, and you want to commiserate with him.
• When you need to talk about the latest episode of Doctor Who
• When you have suggestions to make about programs for the Fellowship.
• When you’d like help with committee work or with other congregational activities.
• When there are community issues you’d like to discuss or would like me to be involved with.
• When you’re mad at me.
• When you appreciate something I’ve said or done.
• When you’d like to talk religion with me.
• When you’d like to talk parenting with me – as a parent, or as a child.
• When you’ve had good news and want to share it.
• When you’ve had bad news.
• When you’re feeling overwhelmed.
• When you want to tell me your history with the Fellowship.
• When you want to spend more time with the children and youth.
• When you’ve heard a great joke and want to share it, or you want to talk comic books, or you want to chat over a cup of coffee . . .

. . . and, well, I think you get the picture. This is, of course, not a comprehensive list. The rule of thumb  is, if you think you might need to talk to me, then you probably need to talk to me. Pick up the phone. Send the e-mail. I won’t know you need me until you let me know that you do. But, I’m here when you do.